Blood and Memories
by WriteMyDreams7
Summary: Kei comes home after feeding and finds Sho asleep on the couch, just like when he was a kid. Pairing: Kei x Sho


**This was written due to my personal feelings of nostalgia for Moon Child. I hadn't written in the fandom for over a year, and this came to be easily.**

**Kei and Sho belong to Gackt's very vivid imagination**

Kei entered the apartment he shared with Sho, shutting the door behind him. He could hear the sounds of Sho's gentle breathing and relaxed heartbeat coming from the couch where Kei found him curled up, fast asleep and still wearing his day clothes. Kei considered waking Sho up and sending him to bed, but hesitated. He looked every part of the monster he was. His shirt was stained with his victim's blood which was also in his hair, on his skin…

No, he couldn't let his lover see him like this. He wouldn't. Kei went into the bedroom to pick out some clean clothes before locking himself in the bathroom. He peeled off his bloody shirt, tempted to throw it away so he wouldn't have to face the crimson stains when he did laundry tomorrow. He didn't though. No point in wasting shirts.

Kei finished undressing and tossed his clothes in the laundry basket before stepping into the shower. He turned the water on, a soft sigh of contentment spilling from his lips at the feel of the hot water against his skin. Kei grabbed the body wash and squeezed some out into his hand, thoroughly scrubbing his skin to remove every last drop of blood. Satisfied that his body was clean, Kei turned his attention to his hair. As he rinsed out the shampoo, he wished it was possible for the water to wash away his shame as easily as it had done with the soap.

The vampire sighed as he shut off the water and reached for a towel. He hated this so much. He hated feeding, hated how the monster in him took over whenever he killed for blood, hated how he had to drink the blood of others like some parasite. At least Sho hadn't been with him tonight. Kei always felt the worst about himself whenever Sho was there as he fed because Sho could see him for the monster he truly was – even though he didn't believe Kei was one. There was a part of him that hoped that someday Sho would become so frightened by him that he would leave. It would be for his own safety after all. But Sho had never left, and even though there were times when Kei wished he would, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle losing Sho. He'd brought happiness back into Kei's miserable life.

Kei pushed his dark thoughts away as he dried off and got dressed, focusing on the mundane ritual of getting ready. He hung up his towel and brushed his teeth, erasing the taste of blood and replacing it with the minty flavor of his toothpaste, before leaving the bathroom.

"Kei?" Sho was sitting up on the couch, blinking tiredly. "When did," he interrupted himself with a yawn, "you get back?" Seeing him like this reminded Kei so much of the child Sho had once been. He'd lost track of how many times he would come home and see Sho sleeping on the couch or curled up in Kei's bed, waiting for him to return.

"Not long ago." The vampire tensed as Sho stood up and came over to him. He dodged his lover's attempt at an embrace, stepping back to put distance between them. He disliked touching Sho after feeding. He always felt like he would taint him somehow, that Sho would lose his innocence by being around him.

The youth sighed. "Kei, it's all right. You don't need to distance yourself from me every time you feed."

Kei changed the subject. "Go to bed, Sho. It's late." It was almost four in the morning. He wanted Sho to go out during the day, not stay trapped inside with him and operating on a vampire's schedule.

"I'm not a child," Sho huffed, pouting as if he were one.

_Yes you are. _Sho was still so young, and sometimes Kei saw the little boy that had found him in that alley all those years ago. He couldn't deny that Sho had grown though. He'd become a handsome man that Kei hadn't been able to resist, but Sho was still so naïve and trusting… just like he'd been when he was younger. His faith in Kei had never wavered, not even when the vampire had lost control and bitten him. He shuddered at the memory. Sho's undying trust in him frightened him. It was dangerous, so very dangerous, for Sho to trust him this much. Kei knew he should have left long ago, should have left when Sho was strong enough to protect himself, but he hadn't. And now he couldn't. Kei was in too deep, and he loved Sho too much to let him go.

"Still, it's late," the vampire insisted.

"I'll go to bed if you do too."

"I will later." He couldn't handle lying next to Sho in their bed tonight. Not after he'd killed a man for his blood earlier.

Sho frowned. "Then I'll stay awake until you're ready to sleep."

Kei snorted. "You've been saying that since you were a kid, but you fall asleep every time."

"I'm older now! I can stay awake with you," Sho insisted.

The vampire didn't believe him, but wasn't in the mood for a fight. He'd been too snappy with Sho lately because of his "diet", and he didn't want to have another argument. "You can try."

Sho sat down on the couch again, frowning a little. "Kei… when you fed, did you satisfy yourself? You're not thirsty anymore?"

Kei flinched at the questions. "Yes." He'd satisfied his bloodlust – for now.

"Good. You starve yourself so much… it makes me worry."

"You shouldn't worry about me, Sho." _I'm just a monster._

"Don't say that." Sho reached for his hand. "You're my lover, it's impossible not to worry."

Kei pulled his hand back. "Still."

Sho sighed as they fell into silence, Kei too burdened by his own self-loathing and concern for Sho to have a conversation right now.

A faint smile tugged at Kei's lips as he glanced at the couch and saw that Sho's eyes were closed again. _So much for staying awake._ The vampire moved his lover into a more comfortable position and draped a blanket over him before leaving the living room. It was almost dawn, and he should rest too.

Kei lay down on the green cot he often slept in when he couldn't handle sleeping next to Sho. He tossed and turned before settling into a comfortable position. Sleep avoided him for a while, but Kei eventually dozed off and fell into dreams drenched in blood.


End file.
